The first legitimate treatises I found on gender confusion were a couple of books in a large university library. At the time, the books focused on two distinct classifications -- cross dressing, and transexualism. It's time now for the first entries in Kelli's Simplified Dictionary of Scary Words. These are simple definitions of words as I use them.
- cross dress -- to wear clothes of the opposite sex.
- transexual -- a person who either strongly desires to undergo, or has undergone sex reassignment surgery.
- homosexual -- attraction to the same sex.
- heterosexual -- attraction to the opposite sex.
I kept digging. I began visiting "adult bookstores" (more aptly called "porn stores") and buying what I could find on the subject. Apart from the surprisingly large amount of porn I discovered on the subject, I did find some legitimate and helpful magazines. These magazines introduced me to some more satisfyingly applicable definitions.
- transgendered -- a sort of blanket term for those in gender identity situations.
- tranny -- generally a pre-op transexual (one who has undergone partial sex reassignment). Usually used in a pornographic context.
- she-male -- see "tranny".
- female impersonator -- male who does his best to present himself as a woman to the point of fooling his audience into thinking he is a woman. Generally used in the context of stage shows.
- drag queen -- think female impersonators on steroids. They generally present over the top caricatures of female personas.
A few years later, the internet came along. I continued researching and studying on my situation. I told myself and others that I was a cross dresser and met many other cross dressers, but all the while I felt that I didn't completely fit the mold. It was like trying to fit a sexagon into an octagonal hole. I finally came across a term that seemed to explain my situation perfectly, and wouldn't you know it, it is fairly new and controversial. That term is autogynephilia.
I came across Jack Molay's blog which is now called Crossdreamers, and it made perfect sense to me. Here's the definition:
- autogynephilia -- a man who fantasizes that he is a woman.