Wednesday, October 27, 2010

My Pen Ran Out of Ink

Uh, yeah.... Sorry for the lack of entries lately, but that's my story and I'm sticking with it!

Good heavens, I have been so busy lately. My days have run from eight in the morning to past midnight, and I feel like I have constantly been running like a madwoman. My favourite heels are about an inch shorter due to all the wear and tear. Of course, that still leaves about four inches of heel left.... Okay, I'm joking about the heels I wear. If my mother ever caught me in heels that high she would kill me. Afterwards, she would probably later dis-member my body and quietly dispose of the evidence if I was also wearing a dress, but that is another story. I always wear sensible heels and have even been known to wear flats, which, in my opinion, definitely separates me (autogynephiliac) from crossdressers.

I wanted to make a quick post about Halloween, which I am very excited about as I actually have plans for a night out this year. I've been living the life of a hermit the past few years (an attractive female hermit, but still a hermit), and haven't done anything on Halloween. This is the unofficial crossdresser's national holiday! If I can't dress on this day, then there is something wrong with the good old U.S. of A.

Now don't forget, in the profile to the side, I state that I am a conservative Christian, and that stands 24/7. I'll be out with friends enjoying a moderately quiet evening. I haven't worked out all the details of what I will be wearing, but there will be nothing exposed that shouldn't be, and no garb that others might find offensive. My ultimate dream is to go as Elvira, but will be unable to pull that off this year.

I've known many crossdressers who have told me that one of their biggest thrills in their younger days was dressing as a girl for Halloween and going trick or treating with parents and siblings. I've had strong fantasies, dreams, and desires of being a woman ever since I was young, say 5 or 6 years old. But I never dressed as a girl for Halloween when I was a kid. I'm not sure why that was. Frankly, I don't think I even considered the idea. I seemed content to daydream of being a girl, play in my mother's old clothes when no one was looking, but never to ask to dress like a girl on the one day of the year when most folks would have thought nothing about it. Currently I wonder if this might be due more to autogynephilia than to classic crossdressing or transvestism. As it is, I have a lot of lost time to make up for.

Still, those heels will have to be a moderate height. Mom may have raised me as a boy, but she raised me with values and morals so that whether guy or gal, I knew what she expected of me.

Kelli Y