I was returning home from work this evening and passed by one of the local colleges. Classes start Monday and all the students were returning to their dormitories and apartments. The university seemed to be a sea of organized chaos. There were groups of students and parents taking tours of the campus. New students were gathered around bus stops trying to decipher the various routes. Professors were opening their offices and checking their mail at the union. Oh, and many of the young college ladies were sporting some of the cutest back to school fashions I had ever seen! I was in autogynephillia heaven.
It's been a few years since I was a college student, but while traveling down one particular street that was lined with fraternity and sorority houses, I recalled some memories that I had never fully considered before. I actively dated when I was in college. In hindsight my autogynephilia was probably a bigger factor than I realized at the time. I now wonder what role it played in the women I dated and even for the reasons I dated them.
Sex was never a big issue with any of the women I dated. At least it wasn't for me. Part of that was due to my Christian upbringing, but part of it I later found was due to my gender issues. The one thing I dislike the most during intimacy is for my partner to remind me that I am the man. It sounds like I'm making a joke, but when I close my eyes, I'm not fantasizing that my partner is Sofia Vergara -- I'm fantasizing that I am Sofia Vergara (or at least a woman). No offense to Ms. Vergara whom I am told is a wonderful person, talented actress, and drop-dead gorgeous!
And speaking of fraternities and sororities, I also recalled that during college I was never interested in fraternities. They actually seemed like a waste of time to me. My girlfriend's sorority, on the other hand, was very interesting. I was not interested in the sorority as in a man's interest in the women of the sorority. I was interested in socializing with them as a person who wanted to be a part of their group. I thought my girlfriend's sorority sisters were wonderful people while the guys in the fraternities I was eligible to join were neanderthals.
Back in the stone age days when I was in college, I used that opportunity to research my gender issues. I would find any book I could at the library, find a quiet corner, and read and study, searching for magazine articles, microfilm, anything. Back then I was given two options -- transvestite or transexual -- and neither option seemed a perfect fit. Contacting others who had similar interests involved obtaining contact magazines that were generally sold in stores I would rather not frequent. I found others, discovered it was best to embrace my "hobby", and waited for science to catch up with what I knew and theorized. I thank the Good Lord for seeing me through all this and also thank Him for how much better current college students have it.
Kids today have the internet, social media, videophones, walkie-talkie wristwatches, and flying cars. Okay, maybe they don't have access to all that as of yet, but they have access to lots more knowledge, lots more science, and lots more people for support. It's common now for colleges to even have student crossdressing clubs and organizations. In a way, it makes me proud of these young people.
If I ever go back to college, I've already picked the perfect gown to wear when I get my sorority pin. Or maybe I'll just be happy with the way things are today.