Wow! Is Christmas Over Already???

So when I last posted to this little blog last the warm glow of the Christmas season had engulfed the world and visions of sugar plums were dancing in my head.  Everything was in perfect harmony, the planets were properly alligned, God was in His heaven, and all was good.

Then I got up one morning in January, shuffled over to my state-of-the-art Windows XP computer, attempted to log-in to my e-mail, and discovered the internet was gone.  I was very disappointed as I really liked the internet, but realized that my dad was correct when he told me that the internet was just a fad.  Apparently the internet had just fizzled-out in popularity and gone the way of hula-hoops, frisbees, and stereos with automatic record-changers.

I found an old copy of TVGuide and saw that the Phil Donahue talk show was scheduled next hour.  I now had plans for my morning, but decided first to call the phone company and make certain they were no longer charging me for internet service as there was no more internet.

I spoke to a very nice phone company rep who sounded like he was from Indiana, but when asked said he was in Kansas.  (Or maybe it was India, I don't remember).  This man was a genius.  After a few simple questions, we discovered two problems.  First, I had fallen asleep again in my blonde wig, thus the reason for my mental confusion.  Secondly, the internet was still in service.  It was my phone line that was causing the problems.

Now it was almost exactly one year ago that my phone line had failed previously.  I received no help from anyone and replaced it myself.  This time, I decided to do things differently.  I decided to consider ALL internet options and began doing research.

The fastest way to do research is on the internet, and since my access was gone, I was forced to use the public library.  Now I LOVE the public library.  I'm a big library supporter.  I think libraries are essential and a nice luxury every community should have.  But, the libraries are public, as opposed to my private internet access at home.  The computers at my library are out in the open, laid out on desktops, and anyone can see what you are doing on the computer just by walking past.  I'm extremely old-fashioned and easily embarassed.  The last time I used a public computer and something objectionable popped-up on the screen I almost broke a leg trying to shut everything down.

That means I was uncomfortable blogging and Tweeting about crossdressing.  I know many people, probably most people, would disagree with me on this, but I was raised this way and decades of such Puritan attitudes are difficult to overcome.  I think people should wear whatever they want to wear.  If you want to dress like a man, like a woman, or the Queen of Sheba you should have that right.  And I know that in this day and age children are already exposed to crossdressers (I was probably in my teens back in the stoneage when I first came across stories of other crossdressers), but I have chosen to not put the topics of crossdressing or transgenderism before others publicly.  I'm happy with my personal level of privacy.  People find my little blog by looking for it.  I do not purposely put my blog in front of strangers because I don't know what these strangers want.

I also did this because of the incorrect attitudes of many people.  There's nothing pornographic about my blog, yet crossdressing and transgenderism is often labeled as such by people who are ignorant.  Who wants to be accused of corrupting the morality of American youth?  I want wonderful things for American youth whether or not they are transgendered.

So am I being a total wimp and letting people shout me down?  Maybe.  I prefer to think of it as avoiding conflict and freely speaking where I can.  On the keyboard side of the computer screen, I felt conflicted.  On the other side of the computer screen, I felt free and bold.  I decided to wait until I had private internet access again to blog.  Besides, I like blogging in my PJs (male or female).

So I tried a few internet service providers that offered options other than DSL.  Internet service via smoke signals was reasonably priced, but slower than dial-up.  And after two days of YouTube delivered by the U.S. Postal Service, I was forced to move from my apartment for lack of space.  My new apartment has good phone wiring, and I am back on the internet.

Kelli

Wipeout!!!

Sorry for the lack of posts this past month.  Late summer activities and vacations and family and work and..., well, you get the idea, kept me plenty busy.  On top of that, I suffered a wipeout in my internet surfing.

I've been knocked off the internet before, but never with such a perfect storm that sent a tsunami-type wave that knocked me off my internet surfing board into a senseless drift of odd bytes and file fragments and onto a deserted island of no internet access. I spent a week marooned with no e-mail, no Twitter, no blogs, and no spam.  Actually, you can forget about the spam.  I can't stomach it and it's bad for my waistline anyways.

I made a rescue flag from my bikini top (okay, a small rescue flag), then sat down on the beach to work on my tan and watch for rescue boats.  The flag alone didn't help much.  I ended up having to frantically jump and down and wave my arms anytime a ship passed, but the first time I did so I got an immediate response.  Now I'm back in the civilized world and fully plugged into the world wide web.  Ooh, the new cat videos on YouTube I missed while gone!

Seriously, it was a 1-2 punch.  First I discovered I had no internet access.  I spent a couple of days checking the hardware and firewalls, then admitted defeat and phoned my DSL tech support.  Immediately, I got a pre-recorded message saying there was a problem with users anti-virus software.  The software was making everyone's computers so secure from internet viruses and hackers that the computers were now unable to connect to the internet.  That's very secure, but a bit ridiculous.  The fix was to un-install the anti-virus software and install the updated version.  I did so.  Once it was completed, I turned off the computer, grabbed my purse, and headed to work.

All day long at work I couldn't wait to get home and get back on the internet.  (Withdrawal symptoms?  Couldn't be!)  I work for an employer where nothing is secret, so I can't go near anything remotely TG or "questionable" on my work computers.  It's not that I work in a high security-type place, it's just that I have a super nosey and suspicious computer tech co-worker.  This guy set up an open Wi-Fi network strictly for employee use on their free time, and the first time I used it I found someone trying to hack into my personal computer.  Talk about "Big Brother"!

Anyway, I returned home, slipped into something more comfortable, hit the on button (on the computer, thank you very much!), logged onto the internet, and got nothing.  Zip!  Zero!  Zilch!  I spent the next day trying to connect to the internet.  This time I tried re-booting in safe mode and even bought a new ethernet connector.  Still nothing.  I decided to phone tech support again and did so the next day only to discover my telephone was dead.  My telephone is an old-fashioned land line but is connected to DSL.  After I had downloaded the new software and gone to work, we had heavy thunderstorms move through the area and knocked down the phone lines on my block.  Girl, did I feel stupid!!!

So now I'm back surfing the internet and trying hard to update my blog more often.  Also, in case I am ever hit by a tsunami again and forced to make a rescue flag, I am switching to one-piece internet-surfing-swimsuits.  Wait a minute... I just noticed a problem with that plan.

Kelli

Diet and Exercise Report

My diet and exercise regime for the new year is progressing well. I do my best to stick to my diet every day, but when I am forced to deviate I keep a close eye on how far off course I go so I can get back on track quickly.

As for my daily exercises, I discovered doing those every day is not always the best idea. I initially set out to exercise every day of the week. On a couple of occasions I found myself having to cancel my exercises for the day. In each case, when I resumed the next day, I found the exercises easier to do and my body registered fewer sore muscles.

This week I deviated twice from my diet and exercise routine, and the scales registered the toll. Last Friday I had lost about 18 pounds since January 1st. Today I weighed and found I had gained back 3 of those pounds. Time to knuckle down and get rid of those 3 pounds again.

Kelli

Diet is "Die" With a "T"

Actually, the diet is going well, and I'm reasonably pleased with the results. I wish the pounds were disappearing faster, but the fact that they are going away at all is good for me.

This weight loss program has all been done on the cheap. First, I'm limiting my calorie intake with a goal of just 1,000 calories a day. That means I can eat whatever I want, but I must stop at the 1,000 calorie mark. This has also forced me to modify my meal schedule, consuming most of my calories in the first half of the day and eating light snacks in the afternoon and evening.

My exercise videos are free. I'm always amazed at what you can find on YouTube, and I found several professionally produced exercise videos. I picked the ones that interested me and concentrated on the body parts I wanted improved. The first week was a bit painful, but I faithfully exercised Monday through Friday, took the weekend off, and resumed last Monday. I started doing 30 minutes of aerobics and found myself struggling to do that much. Now I can do it pretty easily with little pain and will be expanding my aerobic time next week.

So that's diet program for free and exercise program for free.

Attitude is something I have had to work on. No matter how carefully I plan my diet, there are still evenings I find myself sitting in front of the television and thinking I'm hungry. I have a couple of moves to combat this. First, I'll get busy. I'll take care of the dishes in the kitchen sink or do some work on the computer. I'll do something to get my mind off food. The second move is all mental. Instead of feeling hunger in a negative way, I'll remind myself that what I am feeling in my stomach area is actually pounds starting to disappear and visualize my stomach transforming into a flat, sexy, waistline.

Motivation is important too. Common sense would tell you that loosing weight because it is good for your health and long life would be the best motivational factor in the world. Sadly, I have found myself needing additional motivation. My motivation is beautiful women I see in real life, on the television, and online. I even have a screensaver on my computer featuring beautiful female pictures that I have found in my web surfing that is extremely helpful. When I feel hungry at eight o'clock at night, I see a model on my computer and remind myself that if I start eating a bag of chips I will never look like her. Yes, that bag of corn chips is preventing me from looking like Shania Twain.

Next month I plan to add other aspects to my makeover. I plan to update my makeup and wardrobe by starting with books from my local library and bookstore.

I'd also like to start some voice and deportment training, but haven't been able to find anything that looks like it would be helpful. Melanie Phillips has had a voice training program for several years that I am considering. But for every honest business person like Melanie, there are fly-by-night rip-off sites. I came across a link for a professionally done feminine deportment course that sounded promising, but closer inspection raised too many red flags. For instance, the headline banners on her webpage had misspellings. That coupled with the facts that I had never heard of her or heard any testimonials from people I trust caused me to dismiss the site pretty quickly.

If there are any readers out there who have any recommendations on voice training or deportment courses (deportment means moving and acting like a woman), please drop me a line. I'd appreciate it very much. Free YouTube or courses for a price -- I'm interested in them all.

Today's official weigh-in shows I have lost 16 pounds since January 1st. Bikini season, here I come!!!

Kelli

Time Warp Update

This science fiction stuff is becoming a reality all too fast! Recently I blogged about my desire to do some time travel. Here's a bonafide article (yes, I know it's from FOX News) about invisibility, changing the speed of light, and bending time as done recently in a scientific laboratory. I've now decided that the race is on between science perfecting DNA changes that can make me 100% female and science perfecting time travel so I can try my hand at poodle skirts and penny loafers.

Wait a minute... what if we combined time travel and cross dressing?

Kelli

Cracking Walnuts with Sledge Hammers

WARNING: This post may or may not be politically correct.

One day my girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend) showed up at my front door. I opened the door and discovered she was sporting a new look -- her right arm was in a sling. I quickly ushered her inside and began asking how she hurt her arm. Did she hurt it at work? Was it broken? Etc.

She blushed a very bright red, told me she'd had an accident at home and tried to change the subject. I was too concerned to let her change the subject and eventually got the entire story from her and had a good chuckle in the process.

As it happened, she was preparing to step into her shower when a ferocious, deadly, man-eating cricket which had been hiding in the shadows attacked her, latching hold of her delicate flesh. In fear for her very life, she flayed at the cricket, eventually lost her balance, and fell. She was injured, but fortunately the cricket had been scared away and she was safe for another day.

Her story reminded me of cracking walnuts with sledge hammers -- your response to anything in life must be measured and appropriate.

So I got out of bed this morning, turned on my computer, and began checking e-mails and news from the TG community. One of the headlines involved a tampon company advertisement that, I believe, was showing in Australia. The news articles railed that these commercials were transphobic, insensitive, and should be removed immediately! I immediately pictured a large mass of cross dressers, transexuals, drag queens, and female impersonators armed with pitch forks and torches surrounding the television station, trying to break down the doors and run the monsters responsible out of town.

Thanks to the miracle of the internet, I surfed over to YouTube and found the offending ad. I must say I found it to be a good laugh to start off my day. In the ad, a young woman on the right side of the screen is in the ladies room, touching up her makeup. A taller "woman" enters on the left side. I have to admit, I wasn't certain at first who the female impersonator was, but it turns out to be the taller woman on the left. They both work on their mascara, and an unspoken contest begins -- who can be the most beautiful and most womanly woman.

They quickly touch-up their makeup, each keeping a close eye on what the other is doing. They check their outfits so they look right. They quickly adjust their boobs, all the better to be seen, my dear. And finally, the woman on the right pulls out a tampon from her purse. The "woman" on the left cannot match this move, turns, and leaves. The woman on the right won the most womanly part of the contest.

I guess the reason I was not offended at the commercial was because I readily admit I am not a woman. I would like to be a woman. I dream of being a woman. I will never be a genetic woman (unless science proves me wrong someday). No matter how many surgeries and procedures I have, my DNA will always say "male". We can carry on all day how we "feel" female or we consider ourselves "female" in our minds, but science and DNA will still say "male". That's not a criticism of anyone or an attack on anyone or anything, that is a statement of scientific fact. I may dream of being female, but I live in a place called reality.

I also laughed because the "woman" on the left displayed a manly trait that I immediately recognize as a guy thing -- trying to outdo the other guy, even if the other guy is a woman. When it comes to guys trying to outdo guys, they try to have the most manly physique, the most manly good looks, the flashiest and sportiest car, the top dog in the pecking order, etc. Here we had a "guy" trying to be a "woman", and since "she" still had this manly trait, "she" found herself trying to outdo an actual genetic woman, and the genetic woman shot him down fast. I found it very humorous.

Here's my advice on the matter -- watch the commercial yourself. If you like it, enjoy a good laugh. If you are offended, don't by their brand of tampons.

Kelli

Fact Is Stranger Than Science Fiction

I've written before on being a casual fan of science fiction. What I find truly interesting and downright amazing is all the things that were labeled "science fiction" when I was a kid that have become science fact of today. For example, when I was younger (than what I am today), there was a television cartoon called The Jetsons about a futuristic family that had computers in their houses, robots, tv wrist watches, and flying cars. Today we have three out of four of those items, and that's not half bad. My poor old vehicle lies at the other end of the technology spectrum, closer to the Flintmobile as found on The Flintstones, but we can discuss autos on another forum....

It seems obvious that many transgendered people are also fans of science fiction. Lots of tv fiction found on the internet makes use of science fiction ideas and plot lines. I use to frequent sites like Fiction Mania where there were hundreds if not thousands of stories just in the sci-fi department. In these stories you could become a woman via a transporter malfunction, radioactive waste, a mad scientist's experiment, or falling through a rabbit hole into an alternate reality. I've got the legs for those Star Trek uniforms if I do say so myself.

Some major medical news was released this week that was immediately posted on several TG forums. The news sounded so incredible that for a moment I thought surely someone must have sent me a TG science fiction plot by mistake, but here is one of many news outlets reporting the story. In short, scientists have discovered that the reason we stay genetically male or female throughout life is because of a gene (duh!), but this gene can be turned on and off, and turning it off causes a body to begin developing as the opposite sex. Tests have only been conducted on mice, so the full effect of the changes is not yet known.

Having read lots of TG fiction, I'm hoping that through a little gene manipulation I can one day walk into a hospital looking like a guy and come out looking more like Marilyn Monroe. The reverse is also possible for women, although I don't think any woman who looks like Marilyn Monroe would walk into a hospital and come out looking like me. I have an ex-girlfriend who says that doctor would be sued for malpractice!

This is a fantastic blessing from the Good Lord and a great hope to all transgenders. I know from experience that even if this new technology can only effect minor changes, the results can be overwhelmingly positive for many. I'll be following this story closely.

Kelli