Monday, February 27, 2012

Improving My Femme Mind

Things have been fairly quiet in the Roberts household this past week. My diet regime continues to produce good results. My exercise routine has been sporadic at best. Here's what I've been doing.

First thing I attacked was my caloric intake. I slashed it to between 1,000 and 1,500 calories a day (roughly). On top of this, I reduced my fat intake by eating more low-fat or non-fat foods. I started eating more salads and veggies and greatly decreased my intake of meat. Last Sunday I ate a couple of burgers for lunch. That was the first red meat I'd eaten in at least a couple of weeks.

Second thing I started was exercising. I downloaded several free aerobic videos from the web, tried walking more (the cold weather hampers this at times), and started doing sit-ups.

Third was several minor changes I made to my diet. I got rid of artificial sweetners and aspertame. Once in a great while, I will have a cola sweetened with cane sugar, but I normally drink products with Splenda.

Now I'm the sort of person who would have problems strictly following all of what I have just mentioned. The beauty of what I have done is that I have not strictly followed everything listed. If I have to fudge on my diet, I try to increase my exercise. A sugary soft drink is coupled with either a good workout routine or a reduction of calories at another meal.

I've lost 25 pounds since January 1st, and approximately 30-35 pounds since Thanksgiving of last year. I'm feeling much better and hope to begin looking better too.

Speaking of looking better, for the first time in my life, I followed fashion week in New York and London via the fashion writers on the internet. It was an education, to say the least. Saw lots of pretty clothes I would love to have, and a few outfits so outrageous I think they would actually help me in passing (people would be too freaked-out by the clothes to notice the wearer). Burberry is designer clothing line? I thought it was a type of fabric.

While working hard to remove inches from parts of my body, I have found that I look better when I add inches to other parts. Had to smile when I saw a video on YouTube in which a young drag queen explained how she made foam rubber hip and seat pads. I did the same thing in my more youthful days. I've also used cotton batting with good results.

On another front, I've been surfing the web for the latest in bosom enhancement. Back in the day, I used water balloons with good results, and, no, they never burst on me. My guardian angels must have been working overtime on that. I later graduated to inexpensive silicon falsies. Using tape, I can produce a reasonable amount of cleavage, but recently wondered if anything better had come along. A Google search revealed silicon prosthetic breasts that would make any woman green with envy. The only problem is that it would cost me a kidney to buy them. I figured if I ever wanted breasts that much, I would probably be at a point of going all the way and should just plan on getting my own breasts surgically enhanced with silicon. The only other option is winning the lottery.

For the upcoming week, I haven't really been out girl watching in quite some time. Remember ladies, I'm not lusting after you -- I'm envying you.


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