Made some major decisions this afternoon while taking my usual Sunday afternoon siesta. First, I've decided to make a future run for the White House, and I figure the sooner the better.
Before I do that, I'll need to start living as a woman full time. At the very least, that will involve dressing and acting as a woman 24/7. I'm not certain I am ready to sacrifice any male body parts on the altar of U.S. politics, although many candidates seem to do that everyday.
Plan to pick and choose what I like from all the political parties, then call it my own platform. If anyone says I can't run as a woman because it says "male" on my birth certificate (which I can produce), I'll plead for public sympathy. People will realize it isn't fair that I am being attacked by my opponents simply because they don't like the way I dress. I'll win the election in a landslide.
Once I'm in the White House, I'll push legislation allowing crossdressing within the limits of good taste. I'll set a personal example by being very fashionable. The reporters will liken me to a modern-day Jackie Kennedy, I'll look so good, and Joan Rivers will find herself doing daily White House fashion critiques.
The major fashion designers will start seeking my measurements in the hopes that they can design beautiful dresses that I will wear on official business to other nations and puttering around the good old U.S. of A. Soon, knock-offs of these designer threads will start appearing at local moderately-priced department stores so the average man on the street can begin experimenting with this new fashion fad. Husbands and wives can begin trading and experimenting on each other with the latest makeup products and applications. The economy will boom over increased sales related to this new-found freedom in dress.
The uproar of transgenders in the "wrong" restroom will be silenced. If everyone is wearing traditional female fashion and minding their manners, how can you truly accuse someone of being in the wrong restroom.
In the business place, paying someone less money just because they were hired as "eye candy" looses some of its motivation as both men and women can now be "eye candy". Paying someone more or less because of their sex becomes an antiquated notion banished to the past.
Time to finally print-out my ultimate female shopping list and invest everything in those items -- corsets, padded panties, enhanced bustlines, makeup, a good hairstylist, and tons and tons of pretty dresses.
When I awoke from the nap, I began putting everything down on paper and listing all the pros and cons. Decided the biggest con at the moment is announcing all this on April Fools Day, April 1. No one would believe any of this -- it would all be a joke. So I'll have to take everything off the table and decide later if and when I am going to announce my political intentions.
So in the meantime, you didn't read a thing here. Ssh! It never happened.