Tuesday, February 12, 2019
OBSESSION by Kelli
I've obsessed over various things throughout the years. Some would say my transgenderism was an obsession, and I guess I couldn't really argue about that although it seems to be a bit more permanent than the average obsession. I've obsessed over various women, clothes, music, and places. My latest obsession seems strangest yet as I am currently obsessing over an image I found on the internet.
This image is technically an animated GIF (sorry if I pronounced that incorrectly) and from a page of TG caps. Yes, even us christian TG gals like TG caps (although I draw the line at excessive sex and vulgar language). This one is not even 100% TG as it also contains references to sissies, slaves, hypnosis, and masters. I would re post it here on my blog, but there is a modest amount of nudity (the back of a naked woman is shown) and I like keeping my blog family friendly.
When I first saw the image, I immediately saved it to my computer. Later, I moved it to my desktop so I could access it quickly anytime I needed to do so. Last night I put it on my cell phone and glanced at it dozens of times while at work today. This is highly pleasurable and annoying at the same time, not to mention the time lost at work looking at a stupid picture! Just looking at the picture and imagining myself as the woman calms me. I can actually feel my breathing and heart rate slowing. It's also very encouraging as I have recently started a diet and exercise program and have already set this woman as a goal (yes, I know I will never get there, but I can be closer than I am now).
I've never asked another transgendered person if they obsess, but would love to hear from those that do. As long as the effects of that obsession are positive, I know I shouldn't complain and just embrace the positive aspects. Still, it bugs me that I have so little self discipline to let this control me. Ah, what will be will be.