Thursday, August 2, 2012

Myra Breckinridge

Gore Vidal passed away this week.  He was a giant in the literary world and a fascinating man who knew a lot of fascinating people.  I don't read a lot of novels, but I did read Myra Breckinridge many years ago, and it spawned a family mystery that I have never solved.

Sometime back in the 1970s I was staying with relatives for the summer.  At the time I thought I was a young crossdresser (terms like "transgender" and "autogynephilia" hadn't been coined yet) and took every opportunity to dress in old clothes that I might find, read anything on the subject that might be in print (there was very little legit info in print back then), and hypnotically watch anything on television dealing with the subject (which was normally relegated to rare news stories about transexuals).  Yes, for the enlightenment of the younger ready, forty years ago mankind was basically an ignorant brute as evidenced by the polyster fashion of the day, but I digress....  I was staying with relatives for the summer and had the run of the house and the small town where we lived.

One afternoon I happened to go nosing through a closet full of old clothes and lots of "junk".  None of the clothes really caught my eye, but I found some old magazines and books that appeared interesting.  Once I had dug down into the middle of the stack, I discovered that sandwiched between reams of general family-targeted magazines were a couple of girlie magazines and a paperback copy of Myra Breckinridge.

I examined the girlie magazines first as I was most familiar with those.  They had the usual centerfolds and layouts of gorgeous nude women, but one item that both copies had in common was that they both had layouts of some hermaphrodites as well.  I was puzzled by this coincidence and mesmerized by these naked bodies that were both male and female.  I had never seen anything like that before.

Then I turned my attention to the book and began reading it.  To the best of my knowledge, I had never heard anything about this book or about the author, yet something drove me to read it.  The two magazines had been major important finds for me and a hunch told me this book was right up my alley as well.  Over the course of a week I sneaked reading chapters and stuck with the book to the very end (I didn't cheat and read the end first) where I was rewarded with the literary fulfillment of a major personal erotic fantasy -- Myra had been Myron, a male.  The thought of being able to overcome my problem of being male and becoming a beautiful woman like Myra (who would tell you herself that she was beautiful) made a huge impact on me.

Some time later, a question popped into my little brain.  Who was the owner of these books and magazines?  The owner was obviously a relative, yet they had been hidden away in a manner where only the owner would have access to them.  This owner might have been like me, wishing they had been born a woman.  Years later, I also realized that this person might have been a bit more lewd, being what is often termed a "tranny chaser".  Whatever the reason for this relative owning this material, I would have liked to have talked with them about it.  There are studies that suggest transgenderism is an inherited phenomenon.  Learning of this person's motives and passions would have been a treasure trove of info.

Unfortunately, this person was probably raised like I was to be ashamed and be silent of any deviation from the "norm".  If there is nothing wrong or sinful about the deviation, why be ashamed and silent?  I can fully understand why people might think my actions are odd (they are sometimes odd to me also), but odd does not equal wrong or sinful, and I've learned being ashamed and silent (for no good reason) not only hurts myself, but others who feel the same.



  1. Kelli,
    I had not followed your blog for a while but just found it again. I will check back to see what I have missed.

    Myra Breckenridge created both confusion and hope for me back in the day. I did not understand it but it did present possibilities.

    I also think that there may be a genetic component to being TG but as of now I do not know of any real science that supports it.


  2. Greetings & Salutations, Kelli and Pat;

    Let me begin with a caution about my blog, should you feel inclined to look. It is largely carnal in content and does explicitly depict the human forms of both genders. I tell you this as an effort to avoid any affront to your sensibilities.

    In regard to Pat's comment, I have read of peoples' chromosomal arrangements being 'unusual' or incongruous with their apparent gender. So, there is certainly a genetic component involved!

    Kelli; Having arrived at faith in Christ after 30+ years of pining to be the opposite gender to that which I was born, I am interested in discussing that with you. But first a question about the adult materials you discovered.

    Were the special persons depicted therein actually hermaphrodites, or were they pre-operative transsexuals?
    I ask for this clarification only because it is, sadly, common to see the term for those who are actually intersexed used mistakenly to describe TS individuals, and was even more-so 'back-in-the-day'.

    My first views trans-women in adult magazines and understanding of the difference was way back in the 70's, during my tender 'tween years.

    More to the point is the fact that your mention of being a "conservative Christian trans-gendered gal" caught my eye, and my mind as well.

    Admittedly, the current extent of my self-expression as a woman is limited to composing TG-Captions of often explicit congress between people. And the current expression of my faith in Christ, Jesus is my steadfast belief in our Creator, God, and His authority. However, pursuing fellowship in a "church" has not been something to which I have been inclined for several years.

    I am curious, Kelli, about your views on reconciling two aspects of human life which many would hold as diametrically opposed. Not that I agree with those who would do so, since I hold a particular understanding what the Word says, as opposed to what most people have been told.

    And if it be true that no one may say that Jesus is Lord but by the power of the Holy Spirit, then I say emphatically that Jesus is The Christ of God, my Lord and my Saviour!

    Kelli, I apologize for being so forward in this introduction, but I truly seek to know what other people of faith who harbor or express non-traditional concepts of gender-identity believe, feel, think, know... etc.

    I am amenable to discussing such topics with you via email if you would prefer. Mine is the @ gmail service of the w8z2x4m handle. (A name I chose for its double-edged potential in both kinds of transformation, physical and spiritual.)