Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Congratulations, Miss Angola!

I was riveted to the set last night, watching the Miss Universe pageant.  I know most guys like to leer at pretty girls, but I don't think most guys openly watch beauty pageants like I do.  I love the gowns, the way the clothes fit, their poise, and their hair and makeup.  Some folks might think I'm brave in admitting all this, but for the next several months when I watch television I'll be wearing my favorite Red Wings sweatshirt and waiting for the first octopus to be thrown on the rink.  It takes several months of hockey to balance out one night of beauty pageant viewing male/female wise.  Let's face it -- the Bible clearly endorses balance and temperance in our lives.

If I've mentioned this before, I apologize, but one year I watched the Miss U.S.A. pageant with an actual former beauty pageant contestant.  I won't give any specifics, but she had been a serious contestant in some major pageants.  Eventually, we got to discussing the individual contestants and the subject of "tricks of the trade" came up... like strategic use of tape so the clothes hug the body at just the right places, products you would never consider using as makeup, etc.  We had a great time and I have never forgotten that evening.

Later, it occurred to me that all women, to a lesser degree, try some of these "tricks" in their lives. Who hasn't dated a woman who wore a padded bra or met an acquaintance sans her makeup and mistaken her for a total stranger.  The "tricks" range from extreme like cosmetic surgery to minor like manicures and eye lashes.

Being transgendered, I like to think I have something of a dual outlook on the situation.  Part of me marvels that I have never complimented a woman on her eye lashes when out on a date, and part of me seriously envies those same lashes.  Being transgendered, I should take advantage of my meager knowledge of all things feminine and specifically compliment a woman on her outstanding eye lashes, yet the male side finds that as just too womanly a thing to know, and so I can never admit that I have the knowledge to compliment her on her handiwork.

Still later, it occurred to me that whenever I occassionally crossdress, I definitely use all the tricks of the trade that I can find.  Hairs are plucked, legs shaved, waist cinched, T&A padded, and Max Factor industrial-grade applied.  I probably go as crazy over preparations as many of those beauty pageant contestants.  The biggest difference is that they get to start as female.


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