Christianity and The Cure for Cross Dressing

I don't remember if I heard this from a college professor or my therapist many years ago, but the question was asked How do you know if you need psychological counseling? The answer is When something is causing you a problem (anxiety, fear, low self-esteem, etc.).

Cross dressing use to be a problem for me. One of the most important arguments (to me, anyway) for why you shouldn't dress as the opposite sex came from the Bible. Deuteronomy 22:5, as it is frequently quoted, seems to say cross dressing is very bad. After reading the entire Bible chapter and talking to some bonafide ministers (men of the cloth, as we use to say), I came to the conclusion that cross dressing is not a sin. One of the earliest entries I wrote on this blog contained this good news.

That led me to realize that cross dressing is not a problem for me, but it continues to be a problem for people around me. I'm not talking about fellow cross dressers. I'm talking about those who insist I am committing a great sin against God when I put on my prettiest dress. I'm talking about men who wouldn't be caught dead with a strand of pink thread in their clothing or women who may wear slacks, but they are in a "feminine cut".

That lead me to the next big revelation in my life -- I have to get all these people into therapy. All these folks have a completely illogical fear and hatred of my pink angora sweater. Those poor, poor folks going through life like this! I say this with all truthful sincerity, I have sympathy on them. Why? Because they are in the wrong, being in the wrong is the same as being in sin, and sin robs us of the joy and peace that Christ wants us to have in life.

Here's an example. Has this ever happened to you. You're watching television with family or friends. Everyone seems to be enjoying the program. Someone blurts out at one point Oh! That's old so and so! Wasn't he gay? What difference does it make to the show this person is on? The actor was not portraying a homosexual. Such a topic didn't even figure into the storyline. What difference does it make if the actor is gay or not. He or she is on the show, earning a paycheck and entertaining the audience. The conversation usually continues with the loudmouth saying something derogatory and claiming to never watch the actor. There's nothing wrong in enjoying a television show, but letting illogical fear and hatred ruin that enjoyment does seem wrong.

It would be impossible to get all these people into a therapist office, and I don't know of many therapists that make house calls. That leaves little ol' me as the one with the greatest chance of having a positive influence on these folks. I do a lot of studying and praying on this matter, and try to always be careful. In all situations I try to be an "upright" person, as the Good Book might say. For those who only know me as a guy, I do my best to not give anyone an excuse to call me a lying scumbag who likes to get drunk and would stab his own mother in the back as quickly as he would stab his worst enemy. For those who know me as Kelli, I hope they have a positive impression about me (not a slut).

While doing my best to be pleasant and good company, it gives me a chance to talk about anything and everything with a Christian perspective. How do I feel about the environment? I think I have a Christian perspective on that. How will the Red Wings do this season? There is a Christian way to respond to that question. Hey, you're a Christian... what do you think about cross dressing? I think I've already said what my answer would be.

A famous minister once commented that many an average Christian, being a good example to others, has led more souls to the Lord than many an average minister in the pulpit. It all starts by changing hearts and minds one person at a time.

Oh... almost forgot. About the title of this post. Christianity in and of itself is not necessarily a cure for cross dressing. Christianity is the cure for sin, a cure we all need.

Kelli

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Pardon my exuberance, but I love Thanksgiving.  It has always been one of my favorite holidays, probably because it centers on love, family, and God.  I find it interesting that it is a federal holiday, established by proclamation of President Abraham Lincoln in 1863.  Today's federal government goes out of its way to portray itself as non-religious and totally secular, even to the embracing of the religion of humanism.  President Lincoln's attitude was that even in this dark time of a great civil war, we have much to be thankful for to God Almighty.


I have much to be thankful for -- health, family, place to live, etc.


I have to admit that I am not always thankful for being transgendered.  I mean, come on now, there have been times, especially in the past, that I have wished that part of my life miraculously dissappeared into thin air.  I see lots of insanity happening in this scenario.  I'm biologically a guy who likes to dress like a woman and mentally picture myself as a complete woman.  That's strange.  Why is that?  I don't know!  Further, many people are offended at seeing a man dressed as a woman.  Why should they care what I am wearing?  That's strange.  Why is that?  I don't know!  They see an actual woman wearing a pretty blouse and slacks and think nothing of it.  I wear the same pretty blouse and slacks and they say "You pervert!"  That's strange.  Why is that?  I don't know!  I'm not wearing anything obscene or immoral, yet I am overly, downright paranoid concerned about my clothes and overly value the false judgement of people I don't even know.  That's strange.  Why is that?  I don't know.


One item that has helped me in my personal life, especially these past few years, is trying to follow St. Paul's instructions when he wrote to give thanks in everything (I Thess. 5:18, i think).  When you read the book of Acts, you read that Paul experienced a lot of hardships in his life, like getting thrown into prison, being shipwrecked, being stoned, etc.  Yet it never slowed him down in his work for God, and you never see him having a pitty party, table for one.  Whatever happened to him, he felt it happened for a reason, and he ascertained that reason and continued on from there.


I've asked myself recently what it must be like as a "normal" guy to see a pretty gal.  I can't for the life of me really guess what he must be thinking, because no matter how strongly I may be attracted to her, I still have those other thoughts about how I wish I was as pretty, or if those shoes come in my size.  Well, praise the Lord, at least I live in a country where I can do that without fear of the police arresting me and taking me away for re-education or worse.  Thank the Lord I am free to assemble and converse with fellow transgendered people.  And I praise the Lord for the women He has brought into my life because I think my transgenderism gave me an insight and appreciation of these beautiful beings that no "normal" man could ever have or enjoy.


St. Paul said in all things give thanks.  Give it a try.  I can vouch that it helps.


Kelli

Happy Anniversary... To Me...

Came across this picture sometime during my internet surfing adventures, and thanks to my little ol' autogynephiliac brain, I immediately knew what was happening. Once again, some poor guy has been involved in a terrible accident, knocked unconscious, taken to the hospital, mistakenly given a sex change operation, and has awaken to find he is now a gorgeous, curvaceous, sexaceous (probably not a real word) gal. At least in the world of TG fiction, one man's tragedy can be another man's unfulfilled dreams.

Given the number of times this scenario plays out everyday in real life (approximately 0 times a day), it seems a bit odd this would be such a popular storyline. However, I'm not a critic, just a fan of non-pornographic TG fiction, and I probably enjoy dreaming about such stories as much if not more than the next TG person.

This humble little blog celebrates its first anniversary today (Yay!). In retrospect, I haven't accomplished all I wanted to do in the first year, yet at the same time, I was fully prepared to have no "followers" much less passing readers during the first year. I just wanted a little spot on the www to tell people I was a conservative Christian transgendered person and to let others who consider themselves the same that they were not alone. Praise the Lord, I've done that, I've met others like me, and they in turn have met others. I know how encouraging it can be to a person to find out that they are not alone, yet I am available to fill the role of a lone voice crying in the wilderness anytime that is needed.

It seems that the first year anniversary is the paper anniversary, so it is also a bit odd that the internet has done much to eliminate the need for paper and traditional printed communication. Over twenty years ago, I received the Grace and Lace newsletter in the mail. It was a simple, mostly typewritten little paper, carefully photocopied and mailed out in a plain white envelope. The publication schedule was a bit random, but the publisher, Lee Frances Heller, had a love for the Lord and for His people that shone through the pages of that newsletter. I never knew Ms. Heller personally, but I like to think that in addition to passing on the Lord's love to others, I'm continuing her type of ministry in a small way.

Returning to the picture and storyline mentioned at the start of this post, I myself am a bit of a wuss when it comes to pain and would probably not like to find myself literally in the same situation. However, I am totally open-minded to the possibility of sci-fi transporter device malfunctions, male-female body switches, landlady forcing me to dress like a girl, and prescription drug mishaps that cause my estrogen to spike and my body to feminize. We shall see what the next year brings.

Kelli

The Thorn In The Flesh

In the book of II Corinthians, the Apostle Paul made mention of a "thorn in the flesh" which he had. This thorn was some sort of infirmary, a flaw, a handicap, a malady that Paul wanted removed. We don't know any specifics, but we do know that Paul asked God directly to remove the thorn, and God refused. Here's what happened:

And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.

-- 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

I recently came across the question, Is crossdressing your thorn in the flesh? In the past, I have considered it a pain in the neck, and other areas of the body, but never as a "thorn in the flesh". When I looked at what a "thorn in the flesh" really was, I realized it could be relevant to my situation, and, here's the best part, that is a good thing.

Paul was an amazing man. He was well-educated, he was what we would consider to be a blue-blood family lineage associating in all the right circles, and then he met the Lord and his life changed. He became a pillar in the early church. His writings are central to New Testament importance. We know more about his work in spreading the Gospel than anyone else. He traveled extensively throughout Europe and Asia, preaching, teaching, and writing like no one else.

It would be easy for anyone in that situation to start feeling like they were Super Preacher -- faster than the speeding Word, more powerful than the Sanhedrin, able to leap over false gods and idols in a single bound. It's a bird! It's a plane! It's super Paul!

One tiny, little problem: that is known as a classic case of self pride, which is not good because it incorrectly attributes these great blessings as coming from us, when God is the author of all blessings. At the most, we can be a vessel through which God works, which is also a blessing from God.

The end result was that this thorn (whatever it was) reminded Paul daily that he was nothing without the Lord, and the same is true for us who are followers of the Lord.

It would be too easy for me to dismiss my autogynephilia and cross dressing as a problem that I wish could go away (I've already tried that, and, SURPRISE, it's not going away). But if I consider it something of a thorn in the flesh, I have to admit that there have been blessings from it. I've met a lot of wonderful people through the years because of my cross dressing. I've been able to talk with other cross dressers about the Lord and have heard back from them. I have found them very encouraging, and I hope they were able to gain something useful from me. My autogynephilia has definitely kept me in check as a man, but the resulting balance I have found between masculine and feminine has, I hope and pray, made me a better person. I know I am much happier with this balance, and can't imagine tipping back more towards the masculine side (female side would be just as bad).

Through the years I have found myself praying that God would turn me into a woman, and I have prayed that God would make me more manly. Looks like considering this to be a thorn in the flesh is the best option I've come across.

Kelli

Invitation to Church

Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, one of the holiest days on the Christian calendar. Do yourself a favor and attend a church service.

Sunrise services are nice.

Many churches observe regular services, but have special messages or music.

I've lived in cities where they had public Easter pageants where actors portrayed the death, burial, and resurrection of our Saviour.

Spend an hour or two meeting and in fellowship with the Lord. Matthew 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them. The hourly ratio between the time the Lord wants to meet with us and the time he has given us for the rest of the week shouldn't interfere with anyone's hectic schedule.

But my church won't let me dress! Then don't dress, or find a church that will let you dress. That's way down on the list of importance (see previous post). Our Lord and Saviour has asked to meet with us. The Creator of all that is has asked to meet with us. He has shown us so much love, how can we say "no"?

Kelli

On Bathrooms, Deuteronomy, and Freedom

There are certain questions and topics that frequently arise in the life of the everyday T-girl. "Which bathroom do you use?" seems to be one of the most common inquiries. Personally, I try to avoid it, but there have been times when I have used the ladies room. I've always waited until it was empty for safety and politeness, and usually tried to find "single seaters" where I can lock the door and enjoy some privacy.

Years ago, I attended several Help Me, Accept Me meetings at the Dallas, Texas Gay and Lesbian Center. I would arrive partially dressed and scurry into the restroom to apply the finishing touches. There was always a long line of T-girls at the women's restroom, so I would duck into the men's room and be finished before everyone else. Looking back, the scene was a bit comical. I remember another T-girl seemed to disapprove of my actions and questioned me about my choice. I replied, "Are you kidding?! We're all TGs here!" My practical outlook on things seemed to negate the need for restrooms designated for two specific genders when everyone in attendance was pretty much the same. Some may not agree with me on that point, but I still try to be practical in all things.

It was when I first began coming to terms with my transgenderism that I came across Deuteronomy 22:5 -- The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God. That seemed to seal my fate. I was definitely some sort of pervert in the eyes of the Lord. This was going to be a demerit on my record for the rest of my life, end of conversation, subject closed.

Then I learned about context. Everything in the Bible is spoken in the context of the day, and in the context with the rest of the Bible. Have you ever seen pictures of how good Israelites dressed back then? There was not a lot of difference as they pretty much wore robes. This piqued my curiosity. Then I looked at this verse within the context of the surrounding verses and found no context -- this verse of instruction stands by itself with no explanation.

I turned to some well-established theologians and commentators who felt this verse was a warning to the Israelites about some of the pagan practices of their neighbors. These pagans would cross dress to serve false gods and idols. This led me to believe that the intention of this verse was less about what a person wore than what he or she did. This makes practical sense to me. It makes sense that God would be angry at one of His children for turning their back on Him and going after an idol. Does God care if I wear guy's or gal's jeans? Does God care if a woman wears pants or skirts? Does God care if I wear heels or flats? These matters seem trivial and of no importance in light of the historical context. The focus is not on how I look but on how I'm serving.

Matthew 23:25-26 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of extortion and excess. (26) Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also. When Christ came to this earth, He fulfilled both the Law and the Prophets. One of His revolutionary teachings was on the correct motivations of the heart. Our reasons for action and intentions are as important if not more important than our physical actions. In the quote above, Christ was confronting a bunch of religious leaders who were so wrapped up in legalism and ritualism, and the power and prestige of their office, that they forgot the most basic aspect of God -- love. The scribes and Pharisees loved the applause and praise of the people for being "holier than thou", but gave little thought about how God viewed their actions and intent.

And don't forget, the New Teatment looks back and fulfills the context of the Old Testament, while the Old looks forward to the New for completion.

I'm probably not doing a very good job of conveying my thoughts, but here is an extreme example: It's okay to cross dress. It's not okay to cross dress and rob a bank. Why? Because it's not okay to rob a bank period! Hitting a little bit closer to home, it's also not okay to cross dress with the malicious intent to mislead someone.

Now why did I and many other people have to work so hard to come to the conclusion that cross dressing in and of itself is okay? Well, it wasn't God's fault, I can assure you. Fact is, we live in an imperfect world where there is sin, and the old devil himself is a master of lies, deceit, and misdirection. The devil can use his tricks on believers just as he can unbelievers. It's up to those who know The Truth to encourage others in The Truth and lead still others to The Truth.

Maybe I'll come back to this topic again. In the meantime, I'll try to prepare myself so I can better address it. My poor writing on religious matters has helped me have empathy with Moses when at the burning bush he said "I am slow of tongue".

Kelli

And Now For Something Completely Different...

Now that I have put things more or less into a frame of reference by using Kelli's Simplified Dictionary of Scary Words, I need to explain another highly important aspect of my being. In fact, it is the most important aspect of my being. I am a Christian -- born again believer, follower of the way, a member of those who have been redeemed, one of the saints, etc. In my profile, I actually go one step further and state that I am a conservative Christian. I am a member of a "mainline" denomination (you pass by our church buildings and schools everyday) and was saved in my youth.

WAIT!!! DON'T STOP READING YET!!! THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO EXPLAIN!!!

Okay. Let's look at Kelli's Simplified Dictionary of Scary Words to put my religious beliefs in context.

• conservative Christian -- holding established and/or moderate views and interpretations as found in the Holy Scriptures (Bible).

Nowhere in that definition will you find any mention of transgenderism, autogynephilia, cross dressing, or transexualism. Using common interpretations of the Bible, you will find very little, if anything, on those subjects.

On the flip side of the coin, transgenderism, autogynephilia, cross dressing, and transexualism make no demands that a person observe any sort of religious or philosophical belief system on anything.

BOTTOM LINE: Christianity and TGism (transgenderism, autogynephilia, cross dressing, transexualism) are not at odds with each other. A man putting on a woman's silk blouse, or a woman putting on a favourite piece of male attire does not make them a sinner!

Now immediately, there are many out there that are going to say "Yay! Kelli Roberts said I could dress like a woman and attend my favourite Pentecostal/Church of Christ/Methodist/Baptist/Presbyterian/Catholic/Salvationist/etc. church and it was okay!" My response to that is "No, I did not say that, and, no, you probably could not do that." That opens up a whole other can of worms, and I'll have to deal with that in another post.

What I wanted to do in this post was to let you know that a lot of people (trans and non-trans) have issues with many things that, in the sight of the Lord, don't warrant issue status. A transgendered person is not sinning by dressing in the clothes of the opposite sex, but a person falsely accusing that transgendered person of sin, is actually the one who is committing sin. It probably won't happen in my lifetime, but I am committed to ridding the world of both scenarios. God's Word was designed to bring good things to mankind. In the hands of sinful man that message is sometimes corrupted and looses some of its goodness.

Kelli