PURGING

Today I took a short-cut working on my femme wardrobe and purged everything.

Now before anyone says What?! I can't believe you would do something like that! Don't you know purging never solves anything??? Let me explain.

There was a time in the not too distant past where I would have advised anyone to not purge their closet of their feminine finery. I had purged my closet of Kelli's clothes a couple of times in the past and had deeply regretted doing that. I have not done a complete purge in twenty years!

Since my last purge, I've learned about autogynephilia. I've learned that this term applies directly to me and have since learned a few things about myself that I didn't know 20 years ago. For example, I have never had the same strong desire to dress as a woman as have my crossdressing friends. I've enjoyed dressing as Kelli over the years, but if I did that once a month, I was happy. My friends would prefer to dress every week if not every day. I found this confusing as I thought we all had the same outlook and reasons for crossdressing. I began to think that even among crossdressers there was something odd about me (and there probably is, but that is a different story).

After studying various theories about autogynephilia, I felt these differences between myself and other crossdressers was okay because we actually were dressing for different reasons. The way I see it, crossdressers dress to externalize their feelings of femininity. My feelings of femininity are almost all internal, and those feelings don't change much whether I am wearing pants or skirts. I can't really call what I am about to say a fantasy as it happens every day in real life, but I often see myself as a woman trying to pass as a man. The average person sees a guy when they look at me, and I know that beneath the shirt and pants, the Hanes His Way underwear, and the sport talc deodorant, and despite what the biology textbooks say, I am 100% woman!

Another reason I purged is because my wardrobe was starting to look very out of date. Much of what I had was donated from a former girlfriend, and that too was many years ago. She had wonderful taste in clothes, but I decided it was time to start purchasing new items. I haven't seen anyone wear stirrup pants in quite awhile.

Still, while going through all the hangers, it was like a trip down memory lane. I came across a sweaterdress that I really liked that brought back quite a few memories. The first memory was that there was a time in the past when I was small and thin enough to actually wear a sweater dress. Second was the memory of that dress being the first dress my ex-girlfriend saw me wearing. I had a very small wardrobe back then and I had just told her about Kelli. She surprised me the next day by asking to see Kelli. I hadn't expected her to bring it up that soon, but ducked into the bathroom and tried to use all the tricks to look my best. I cinched my waist. I padded my hips, I double-checked my makeup. I made certain my boobs were straight. At last I tottered out in my 2.5 inch heels and my girlfriend seemed to be genuinely surprised. She told me that at first glance she thought I passed and had "one hell of a figure". It was on closer inspection that she soon saw I was male. Coming from her, I took all that as a great compliment.

All the blouses, skirts, slacks, jackets, and cute PJs are boxed and ready to be delivered to a local thrift store. For this purge, I am actually very happy and looking forward to building my new wardrobe. I hope the recipients are as happy with this wardrobe as I have been.

Kelli

Can't Wait Until It's Invented!

I remember many years ago, as a child, watching The Flintstones on television. It was a cartoon about a prehistoric family that lived a surprisingly modern life. For example, they had a garbage disposal in the kitchen sink. The gag was that it was actually a wart hog that lived under the sink that ate the garbage. Hey, it's a living.

Another gag they frequently used was someone needing something that had not yet been invented, and that person saying they were looking forward to someone inventing it. I told a group of kids once that when I was a kid, you would often find us on a hot summer day sitting on the porch, bored silly, because video games had not yet been invented, and we couldn't wait for someone to invent them. My sense of humor was never recognized by those kids.

However, I have recognized the possibilities of deciding what future items need to be invented, and offer some TG specific ideas:

We'll start with undergarments. I was shocked the first time I saw an advertisement for Hanes Her Way or Jockey For Her. Every guy knew these brand names, but certainly never associated them with female underwear. The product seems to be very popular, and no one these days gives this a second thought. It seems safe to now suggest that someone needs to invent Bali For Him and Playtex His Way. The marketing possibilities are endless. Next door to every Victoria's Secret, we could have a new store called Victor's Secret.

How about some shoes. I personally don't have very much trouble finding women's shoes that fit, but have seen one specific type of shoe that I really want. It's those specially designed sneakers designed to firm and tone the legs and butt. I want my legs and butt (especially the butt) to look more like those of the female models who sell the shoes. I challenge Madison Avenue to hire a male model, have him use those shoes religiously for six months, and show me if they will do what I want them to do. Then, I will happily pay $75 for a pair of sneakers.

It seems using makeup on a super model is like adding a four-barrel carburetor to the rockets on the space shuttle. She already has a natural beauty that most of us guys would kill for. Put one of us in that beautician's chair and slather on the moisturizers, the skin toners, the cleansers. Wax, tweeze, cut, and perm our hair until perfect. Show me a make-up color palette that would put a rainbow to shame. Make-up that could actually improve my face is the make-up I want.

And speaking of make-up, in my early days, I was known to use a little too much of the good stuff. Imagine the laugh I got when I saw an infomercial on television for an air-brush make-up applicator. Sounds like a great idea, but too dainty for the average Joe (or Josie). My designs call for a standard paint-gun sprayer hooked up to a moderately sized air compressor. Tape off the areas where you do not want to apply any makeup, fire-up the compressor, and let it go! [NOTE: Do not try this at home. Let someone who claims to be a trained professional try it first. If they survive, then maybe consider it....]

These are just a few of my ideas. However, I freely put them out there to the general public in case some free-thinking entrepeneur/inventor has the ability to take the ideas from the drawing board to the finished product. I look forward to a future date when I look back in time and think I remember when I wished someone would invent that.

Kelli

Personal Spring Wardrobe Notes

This post will fulfill something of a dream I have had for years. I've read many fine cross dressing magazines over the years, and many of them had very good advice columns pertaining to makeup and fashion. Friends have told me that I do pretty well on both fronts. I have to study and work hard at makeup, but when it comes to fashion, I'm pretty good at dressing like a normal woman. At home, I don't dress like June Cleaver or a fantasy French maid, but if the occasion calls for feminine slacks and a nice blouse, that is what I will wear. If the occasion calls for a dress, that is what I will wear. I don't own any haute coture. I think you get my point.

So I have never really needed much fashion advice, and have never really given (or been asked to give) any fashion advice, which is okay because I thought everything that needed to be said on the subject had already been said or written. Today changed all that, and I found an area of fashion decorum that needed my two cents.

I live in a moderately-sized town in the U.S.A. which is located in a region referred to as "tornado alley". This region of the country experiences more tornadoes and severe weather during the spring months than any other region of the U.S., and at the moment, we are at the peak of the season. I was talking with a stranger at a gas station about the weather. I figured we were just making small talk, when I saw him jump in his vehicle and discovered he was a storm chaser from a major university. These folks will travel the highways chasing tornadoes. They are normally in a convoy and will have lots of neat gizmos like computers, weather radars, satellite trucks, etc. With all this equipment, they seem very smart, and yet, they are chasing some of the most dangerous storms to hit this part of the country. If they don't have to get too close to the tornado, I suppose it would be very exciting and interesting, so naturally, I began making notes about what to wear should I ever decide to chase after a tornado.

Unfortunately, it seems the first piece of advice would be to not wear a skirt. Tornadoes are windy. It's embarrassing when a woman's skirt is blown up, but when a cross dresser's skirt is blown up, it's just gross to me. I would suggest a nice pair of slacks, or possibly, if you've got a decent shape, a cute pair of shorts. I use fanny pads, which I figure would also offer some protection from the weather elements (like if the wind knocks me flat on my a... seat).

The second piece of advice is also a bit of a downer -- wear flats, not heels. Take a look at Helen Hunt in the movie Twister. A tornado will easily catch up to you if you're running (mincing for some of us) in heels, and the added height will attract more lightening strikes. I'd go with a cute pair of sneakers, and the added running will help tone the legs and butt for when you do wear heels.

Now for the top, I'm thinking of some layering. You would want the outer layer to be a long-sleeved shirt of some sort that can easily be removed or added. The weather under a thunderstorm is often much cooler, and with the rain and strong winds, it can get downright chilly, especially compared to the warm sunshine you were in just moments ago. The inner layer needs to be very light and cool, like maybe a t-shirt, halter top, tank top, or exercise or swimsuit top. This way you can tease the world a little with "what you've got", yet keep somewhat modestly covered (Mom and Dad would be proud of their... a... child).

As for underwear, the standard crossdressing rule applies -- the sexier, the better. If a black lace push-up is all you've got, it will do just fine. A word of advice -- you might get pretty wet, so plan ahead of you want to avoid looking like you just left a wet t-shirt contest.

This will be an excellent time for your makeup skills to shine. Remember, it will probably be warm and sunny while you are out traveling, so you will want a light, minimal look to your makeup. However, once you are in the storm, it will be quite a bit darker in an atmosphere dominated by various hues ranging from blue-grey to grey with some greens thrown in for good measure. I would be packing lots of blues, grays, greens, purples, magentas, evening-type makeup, and make certain it is not only waterproof, but wind-proof as well.

It took a long time for me to summon enough courage to leave my home the first time dressed as a woman. Taking that into consideration, it will probably be a long time (if ever) before I actually consider chasing a tornado dressed as a woman, but if I do, I've got my wardrobe already selected.

Kelli